Tomorrow is the day! I will finally meet the ten scholars
that will most likely change my life over the next five weeks.
I can’t wait to meet our “Class of 2025.” Ten students, at
least, that have willingly signed up for summer school down in the Mississippi
Delta, to work on their fourth grade skills before proceeding to the fifth
grade.
I’m not going to be as bold as to say that we’re ready, but
we’re probably about as close as we could be…luckily tomorrow we are only doing
the DRA (Developmental Reading Assessment) with them. REAL teaching will start
on Monday! The DRA is used to track where they are at in their reading
comprehension and fluency. It allows us to teach on their instructional level,
and also to see how far they need to come to be ready to go day one of fifth
grade.
Because I wake up at 5am every morning, and I am incredibly
exhausted—oh AND we have been thinking, processing, and reflecting on every
second of our lives the last couple of days…I’m going to keep this post short
and sweet.
I would say that I have very mixed emotions about tomorrow,
and this summer at this point. I’m going to go ahead and flesh them out.
Fear. Truly, I’m
terrified about this whole experience. If I had to pick out two things that
really, really, scary me, it’s pretty easy. I think that I am really scared of
letting these kids down. Carver Upper Elementary is the SECOND lowest
performing school in the STATE of Mississippi. These kids are truly counting on
us, as teachers, to turn around that trajectory. I don’t want to let down our
scholars, because as much as I need to grow as an educator in the next five
weeks—summer school is all about them. I want to be able to engage and push
these students to the point where they see their goals as attainable. When they
go to their fifth grade classroom, I want them to be on top of the class.
Nervous. I am
incredibly nervous to administer the DRA test tomorrow. Not because of
logistics, or because I might calculate the score wrong, because that test will
tell me exactly where our scholars are at.
Frustrated. It
really frustrates me to know that despite these students’ hard work, their
parents’ involvement, and their will to succeed, these kids are SO behind. I
know these kids are going to work harder than a lot of kids that I sat next to
throughout my public schooling days, yet they aren’t afforded half the
opportunity.
Team-y. Okay, I
know that isn’t a word, but its as close as I could get. I have an INCREDIBLE
team behind me and beside me. The TFA support staff that we have at the school
couldn’t be better. They are extremely open to sharing their previous
experiences and ready to be on standby for help at any time. It really helps
that some of them were in our exact same place only a year ago. I also have a
really wonderful partner, whom I will teach literature alongside. He has
already been practicing exactly how he will “sneak” around the room while
imitating Fantastic Mr. Fox, and has purchased a stopwatch.
Fired UP!. After
watching countless videos of teachers in the classroom, hearing stories of
individual students, the stories of previous corps members, and even getting a
glimpse of the kids in our classroom—I am so FIRED UP! Every kid deserves it
all from a teacher. At this point, I am mostly regretting leaving all my
costumes at home. They really could have come in handy. I can’t wait to say
“GOOD MORNING!” To the kids, to get to know their names, their personalities,
their quirks, and to tell them that I believe in them. I can tell you exactly
who the teachers were that made me believe in myself, and I think that it is
incredibly important in education.
Growth. I
know—that’s not really an emotion either. I remember looking back at my college
career and thinking wow! I cant believe how far I have come. Well, its been ten
days…and I can’t believe how far I have come. I think the place I have seen the
most growth has been in management. Starting to grasp the idea of “tough-love.”
Although, I probably won’t rely on this teaching “personality,” because we all
know kids can see straight through something that is not genuine…I am working
on learning and owning some of the skills needed. I often make excuses for
others and myself but now I have adopted a “no excuses!” strategy for my own
life and in my classroom.
I would like to end with a final quote—that helps me to
understand why this whole experience seems so incredibly BIG to me—hard to
grasp and process…
“I’ve come to the frightening conclusion that I am the decisive element in the classroom. It’s my daily mood that makes the weather. As a teacher, I possess a tremendous power to make a child’s life miserable or joyous. I can be a tool of torture or an instrument of inspiration. I can humiliate or humor, hurt or heal. In all situations, it is my response that decides whether a crisis will be escalated or de-escalated and a child humanized or de-humanized.” –Dr. Haim Ginott
Here we go class of 2025.
I say “College…”
You say “for certain!”
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