Necessity of Faith in
Decision Making
Give me your eyes for
just one second
Give me your eyes so
I can see--everything that I keep missing
Give me your love for
humanity
Give me your arms for
the broken hearted
The ones that are far
beyond my reach
Give me your heart
for the ones forgotten
Give me your eyes so
I can see
These are lyrics from the song “Give Me Your Eyes,” by
Brandon Heath, but lately they have become a personal mantra and prayer for me.
Learning to embrace my spirituality, again, and walk through this experience
holding His hand has been absolutely essential.
I am lucky to have found an accepting and engaging community
here that makes that extremely easy, but sometimes in the classroom I really
struggle with how all of these things intersect.
One thing that I have definitely learned, or has been
reaffirmed, is that prayer is extremely powerful.
Last Tuesday I had one of my best days in the classroom. I
actually felt like a teacher, because I felt like the kids were actually learning. There were no
behavioral issues, and the kids all walked away knowing the material. I was on
top of the world. That morning, instead of tweaking my lesson plan or
pre-planning for a later lesson plan, I took time for myself on the bus. I
listened to some of my favorite songs, reflected on my time thus far in the
classroom, and prayed for my kids.
After things went so smoothly on Tuesday, I accredited my
success to my growth as a teacher. Instead of truly reflecting on what had
created that change. The following Thursday, I didn’t take that time on the
bus, and class was an absolute disaster. It wasn’t until things fell apart
again, that I took time to realize what I had/hadn’t done differently. It
wasn’t until I started to struggle again that I turned back to Him and
reflection. It truly taught me how essential that time of prayer is, both in
joy and in struggle.
What if there was no light
Nothing wrong, nothing right
What if there was no time—and no reason or rhyme.
What if you should decide that you don’t want me there by
your side.
That you don’t want me there in your life.
What if I got it wrong.
And no poet or song—could put right what I got wrong
Or make you feel I belong.
What if you should decide that you don’t want me there by
your side.
That you don’t want me there in your life.
Every step that you
take, could be your biggest mistake.
It could bend or it
could break.
But that’s the risk
that you take.
What if you should decide that you don’t want me there in
your life.
That you don’t want me there by your side.
--What If, Coldplay
For me, these lyrics from Coldplay describe the fear and
challenge that lies in front of me when I try to do things on my own. It is
essential to remember that I didn’t get where I am today without the support of
my family, and also through the strength I found in my faith. I especially love
the part about risks and mistakes. I was told that a Teacher makes 1200
decisions a day. I have studied decision making a lot as a political science
major, and I have seen how important decisions are in the outcome of events. To
think that I have the power to make or break a classroom culture, and a child’s
ability to learn and master the information, is frightening. But, in this case
I literally did sign up for it. It is so critical that I learn to accept risk,
and find the strength to take each step—realizing the potential that lies in
it. That is something I can’t do on my own.
“I’ll go, but I cant go alone, because I know that I’m
nothing on my own […] because when I’m weak--you make me strong, when I’m
blind—you shine your light on me. Because I’ll never get by living on my own
ability. How refreshing to know you don’t need me, how amazing to find that you
want me. So ill stand on your truth and I’ll fight with your strength.” Casting Crowns, In Me
p.s. sorry about all
the lyrics—I also find a lot of strength and reflection in music. Most
songwriters are much better with words than I am.
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